SEVENTH EMPTYING. 143 



Shepherd used to call the " towt an sammel." " Now, 

 cook," she said, " will it dew ?" " Well," said cook dubiously 

 as she surveyed the inviting prospect with arms akimbo, 

 " Aye, it will do, if thou keeps thy mouth shut." 



A working man in a Yorkshire mining district got 

 married, and a week or two after they settled down at home. 

 An old friend of his called to spend the evening with them 

 and see the new wife. When he left, the husband accom- 

 panied him to the door, and when they were fairly out of 

 hearing of the better half, the husband said to his departing 

 guest, " Well, Jack, now thou has seen her, what does ta 

 think on her ?" And his candid friend replied, " Well, to 

 tell ye t' plain truth, Dick, nowt." " No," said the husband, 

 " no more do I." 



* * 



A working man in a West Riding town had ordered a 

 pair of new trousers, which were duly delivered at his 

 cottage about eight o'clock one Saturday night. Full of 

 the importance of the event, he went upstairs at once to try 

 them on, and coming down again, said to his wife : " I say, 

 lass, thou'll be obliged to alter yond breeches ; that fool of a 

 tailor has made 'em four inches too long. I'se nivver get to 

 chapel with them as they are." Then that busy lady, 

 surrounded by her pledges of affection, thus replied : " I'se 

 do nowt o' t' sort ; I'se six hats to trim for these lasses, or 

 they can't go out to-morrow, and I isn't barm to start 

 tailoring for thee at midneet." Whereupon the disappointed 

 man vanished to spend the evening elsewhere. By and 

 bye, the eldest daughter, a girl of seventeen, who had heard 

 what had passed, taking pity on her father, went quietly 

 upstairs without saying anything to anyone, and took four 

 inches off the trousers legs. Very late at night, the mother 

 relented, and knowing nothing of what had happened, she 



