THE ORPHAN MAID. 63 



of reflection, other moments amply recompensed me, and gave me 

 enjoyment, though not unalloyed, of as perfect a kind as the general 

 nature of frail humanity, assisted by the workings of particular 

 melancholy, could possibly admit. Without being able to assign 

 any reason for my conduct, though I entered into many philosophi- 

 cal inquiries concerning all the possible combinations of motives, I 

 arrived at Coventry, distant from Oxford fifty miles. The days of 

 riding naked upon horseback being gone, I beheld no elegant nude 

 bestriding a prancing courser, therefore I met with no gratification 

 in the assumed character of peeping Tom. From this foolish place 

 I went to Nottingham, distant fifty-one miles, and stayed there 

 three days." 



Here he abruptly dismisses his pedestrian adventures, and enters 

 on the subject more near his heart. 



..." What will time do to such love as mine ? It is not pas- 

 sion founded on whim and fancy; it is not a feeling of her excellent 

 disposition resembling friendship ; it is not a regard that intimacy 

 preserved, but whose force absence may diminish. Such feelings 

 constitute the common love of common souls. But with me the 

 case is different. ~No holy throb ever agitates my heart ; no idea 

 of future happiness ever elevates my spirit ; no rush of tenderness 

 ever warms every fibre of my frame, that Margaret is not the cause 

 and object of such emotions. If such a being were to confess she 

 loved me ; if she were to sink upon my breast with love and fond- 

 ness, I would be the happiest being that ever lived among men. I 

 feel I have a mind that could then exert itself, and a heart that 

 would love all the human race. But if this union is denied me ; if 

 she I love reposes on the bosom of another, — then is the chain 

 broke which bound me to the world ; I have nothing to live for ; 

 all is dark, solitary, cold, wild, and fearful. When Margaret is 

 married, on that night that gives her to another, if I am in any part 

 of this island, you must pass that night with me. Blair will do the 

 same. I don't expect, indeed I won't suffer either of you to soothe 

 the agony of my soul, for that surely were a vain attempt. But 

 you will sit with me. I know I could never pass that night alone. 

 I would crush to death this cursed heart which has so long: tor- 

 mented me, and bless with my latest breath my own Margaret ; for 

 she is mine in the secret dwellings of the soul, and not a power in 

 the universe shall tear her from that hospitable home. When I 



