436 MEMOIR OF JOHN WILSON. 



a watch* Many wonderful escapes this ornament (if so it may be 

 called) had from fire, water, and sudden death. All that was required 

 of it at his hands was that it should go, and point at some given 

 hour. His own account of its treatment is so exactly the sort of 

 system pursued, that this little imaginative bit of writing will de- 

 scribe its course correctly : — " We wound up our chronometer irregu - 

 larly, by fits and starts, thrice a day, perhaps, or once a week, till it 

 fell into an intermittent fever, grew delirious, and gave up the 

 ghost." His snuff-box, too, was a source of agony to him ; it was 

 always lost, at least the one he wished to use. He had a curious 

 sort of way of mislaying things; even that broad-brimmed hat of 

 his sometimes went amissing; his gloves, his pocket-handkerchief, 

 every thing, just the moment he wished to be off to his class, seemed 

 to become invisible. No doubt all these minor evils of life were 

 vividly before him when he makes his imaginary editor give occa- 

 sional vent to his feelings in the " Noctes."f 



These are some of the " ways." Gas, as I have said, he could not 

 endure, having once blown it out, and nearly suffocated a whole 

 family. It was the first duty of the servant to place the tin candle- 

 stick and snuffers on his table in the morning. That and his ink- 

 stand were two articles of vertu not to be removed from his sight. 

 The inkstand, a little earthenware image of Arion on his dolphin, 

 I preserve with care and pride.J 



* A sufferer sends me the following anecdote : — " While delivering one of the Inaugnr.il Ad- 

 dresses to the Philosophical Institution, of which he was president, in the full career of that im- 

 passioned eloquence for which he was so distinguished, he somewhat suddenly made a pause in his 

 address. Looking round on the platform of faces beside him, he put the emphatic question, 'Can 

 any of you gentlemen lend me a watch V Being very near him I handed him mine, but a moment 

 had hardly passed ere I repented doing so. Grasping the chronometer in his hand, the Professor 

 at once recommenced his oration, and, in ' suiting the action to the word,' I expected it would 

 soon be smashed to pieces ; but I was agreeably disappointed, as, after swaying it to and fro for 

 some time, he at last laid it gently down on the cushion before him." 



t" Who the devil has stolen my gloves? cries the same celebrated literary character, as, stamp- 

 ing, he blows his nails, and bangs the front door after him, sulkily shaking his naked mawlies 

 on the steps with Sir John Frost. 



" Hang it 1 had we three hundred and sixty-five snuff-boxes, not one of them would be suffered 

 to lie still on this table; but the whole gang shall be dismissed, men and women alike, they 

 are all thieves. You have not seen my slippers, you say, sirrah ? — Well, then, we shall use our 

 interest to get you admitted into the Blind Asylum. 



" Hold your confounded tongue, sir, and instantly fetch us our hat. What else have you got to 

 do in this life, you lazy hound, but attend to our hat ? And have you no fears, you infidel ?" 



$ It was bought by my mother, in a small shop in Stockbridge, in 1S20. That shop was then 

 kept by a young man, who has since risen to great eminence in the world, having gained by 

 Lis acquirements, and extensive antiquarian knowledge, a name of European fame. In his private 

 life he is beloved and respected by all who know him, and among my own friends there is no 

 one I esteem more highly than Mr. Robert Chambers. 



