EIGHT AND LEFT 27 



for by the perversity of women.) Well, if a man tries to 

 put on a woman's waterproof, or a woman to put on a man's 

 ulster, each will find that neither hand is readily able to 

 perform the part of the other. A man, in buttoning, grasps 

 the button in his right hand, pushes it through with his 

 right thumb, holds the button-hole open with his left, and 

 pulls all straight with his right fore-finger. Reverse the 

 sides, and both hands at once seem equally helpless. 



It is curious to note how many little peculiarities of 

 dress or manufacture are equally necessitated by this prime 

 distinction of right and left. Here are a very few of them, 

 which the reader can indefinitely increase for himself. (I 

 leave out of consideration obvious cases like boots and 

 gloves : to insult that proverbially intelligent person's in- 

 telligence with those were surely unpardonable.) A scarf 

 habitually tied in a sailor's knot acquires one long side, left, 

 and one short one, right, from the way it is manipulated by 

 the right hand ; if it were tied by the left, the relations 

 would be reversed. The spiral of corkscrews and of 

 ordinary screws turned by hand goes in accordance with 

 the natural twist of the right hand : try to drive in an 

 imaginary corkscrew with the right hand, the opposite way, 

 and you will see how utterly awkward and clumsy is the 

 motion. The strap of the flap that covers the keyhole in 

 trunks and portmanteaus always has its fixed side over to 

 the right, and its buckle to the left ; in this way only can it 

 be conveniently buckled by a right-handed person. The 

 hands of watches and the numbers of dial-faced barometers 

 run from left to right : this is a peculiarity dependent upon 

 the left to right system of writing. A servant offers you 

 dishes from the left side : you can't so readily help yourself 

 from the right, unless left-handed. Schopenhauer de- 

 spaired of the German race, because it could never be 

 taught like the English to keep to the right side of the 



