288 OGBURY BARROWS 



work or of dolichocephalic skulls, but to provide abundant 

 brakes, drags, and carriages, to take care that the owners 

 of castles and baronial residences throw them open (with 

 lunch provided) to the ardent student of British antiquities, 

 to see that all the old ladies have somebody to talk to, and 

 all the young ones somebody to flirt with, and generally to 

 superintend the morals, happiness, and personal comfort of 

 some fifty assorted scientific enthusiasts. The secretary 

 who diverges from these his proper and elevated functions 

 into trivial and puerile disquisitions upon the antiquity of 

 man (when he ought rather to be admiring the juvenility 

 of woman), or the precise date of the Anglo-Saxon con- 

 quest (when he should by rights be concentrating the whole 

 force of his massive intellect upon the arduous task of 

 arranging for dinner), proves himself at once unworthy of 

 his high position, and should forthwith be deposed from 

 the secretariat by public acclamation. 



Having once entrapped your perfect secretary, you set 

 him busily to work beforehand to make all the arrange- 

 ments for your expected excursion, the archaeologists 

 generally cordially recognising the important principle 

 that he pays all the expenses he incurs out of his own 

 pocket, and drives splendid bargains on their account with 

 hotel-keepers, coachmen, railway companies, and others to 

 feed, lodge, supply, and convey them at fabulously low 

 prices throughout the whole expedition. You also under- 

 stand that the secretary will call upon everybody in the 

 neighbourhood you propose to visit, induce the rectors to 

 throw open their churches, square the housekeepers of 

 absentee dukes, and beard the owners of Elizabethan 

 mansions in their own dens. These little preliminaries 

 being amicably settled, you get together your archasologists 

 and set out upon your intended tour. 



An archaeologist, it should be further premised, has no 



