324 WILD SPORTS OF THE WEST. 



support him while he drowns. That hope, that sole 

 dependence, was in my unborn child ; on that being, 

 haply, I might lavish my love ; and when nothing 

 else remained on earth whereon to rest my affections, 

 I turned to a visionary thing, a creature not in existence, 

 as an object on which to fix my heart. You smile ; 

 but ah, sirs, remember I had not nerves and feelings 

 like the multitude. I am a poor helpless wretch, unfitted 

 to withstand the villainy of mankind, and struggle through 

 a world where the boldest will often blench, and the 

 wisest hold their course with difficulty." 



He became deeply agitated, and though, poor fellow, 

 I had laughed heartily at the faithful picture he gave, 

 in the course of his narrative, of all concerned, I could 

 not but respect his griefs. He soon continued 



" At times I felt a misgiving in my bosom, and pangs 

 of jealousy tormented me. I saw much culpable 

 familiarity between my wife and her relative : and for 

 some trifling cause, she and I, for some time past, had 

 not occupied the same apartment. Could she forget 

 herself and me so far ? Oh, no, no, she could not ! 

 She would not do a being like me, who submitted to 

 her command, and sacrificed everything to her fancy, 

 so base, so cruel an injury ! I never harmed a worm 

 willingly ; and surely she would not wrong one so 

 totally her thrall her worshipper, as I ? 



" I considered that between the parties there existed 

 a near relationship, and natural habits and early intimacy 

 might warrant what was certainly indelicate, but still 

 might not be criminal. God help me ! At times my 

 brain burned my senses were almost wandering, 

 and had this state of torture long continued, I must, 

 ere now, have been the inmate of a madhouse. 



