CONSOLATION OF A PIPE. 151 



has overcome it. Germany has been puffing for three- 

 score years ; France smokes to a man. Do you think 

 you can keep the enemy out of England ? Pshaw ! 

 look at his progress. Ask the club-houses. I, for my 

 part, do not despair to see a Bishop lolling out of the 

 Athenseum with a cheroot in his mouth, or, at any 

 rate, a pipe stuck in his shovel hat." And thus Bulwer 

 discourses : — " He who doth not smoke hath either 

 known no great griefs, or refuseth himself the softest 

 consolation next to that which comes from heaven. 

 ' What, softer than woman ? ' whispers the young 

 reader. Young reader, woman teases as well as con- 

 soles. Woman makes half the sorrows which she 

 boasts the privilege to soothe. Woman consoles us, 

 it is true, while we are young and handsome ; when we 

 are old and ugly, woman snubs and scolds us. On 

 the whole, then, woman in this scale, the weed in that : 

 Jupiter, hang out thy balance, and weigh them both ; 

 and if thou give the preference to woman, all I can 

 say is, the next time Juno ruffles thee — O Jupiter, 

 try the weed !" 



