88 Life of Count Rumford. 



strangers which is deny'd me in my native country. I cannot 

 any longer bear the insults that are daily offered me. I cannot 

 bear to be looked upon and treated as the Achan of Society. I 

 have done nothing that can deserve this cruel usage. I have 

 done, nothing with any design to injure rny countrymen, and 

 cannot any longer bear to be treated in this barbarous manner 

 by them. 



u And notwithstanding I have the tenderest regard for my 

 Wife and family, and really believe I have an equal return of 

 Love and affection from them ; though I feel the keenest dis- 

 tress at the thoughts of what Mrs. Thompson and my Parents 

 and friends will suffer on my account, and though I foresee and 

 realize the distress, poverty, and wretchedness that must una- 

 voidably attend my Pilgrimage in unknown lands, destitute of 

 fortune, friends, and acquaintance, yet all these Evils appear to 

 me more tolerable than the treatment which I meet with from 

 the hands of mine ungrateful countrymen. 



" This step, I am sensible, is violent, but my case is desperate. 

 I have nothing to expect from mine Enemies, and my friends 

 are afraid to appear for me. And I see no prospect of being 

 able either to return to Concord, or even to stay here much 

 longer in peace and safety. A reconciliation upon honorable 

 terms is of all others the thing most to be desired. But you 

 must allow me to say, that my present situation, notwithstand- 

 ing it is thus dreadful, is to be preferred to a reconciliation (sup- 

 posing it possible) upon the terms of my making an acknowl- 

 edgement. The crime which is alleged against me (Viz* being 

 an enemy to my Country) is a crime of the blackest dye, a 

 crime which must, if proved against me, inevitably entail per- 

 petual infamy and disgrace upon my name. If I confess myself 

 Gujlty, will mine Enemies, will the World, think me inno- 

 cent ? or will even the Charity of my very friends attempt to 

 exculpate me when I accuse myself? 



" Whatever prudence may dictate, yet Conscience and 

 Honor, God and Religion, forbid that my Mouth should speak 

 what my Heart disclaims. I cannot profess my sorrow for an 

 action which I am conscious was done from the best of motives. 



