VILLAGE IDIOTS 43 



in seeing a pig killed, and I ought in justice to myself to 

 add that I and my sister were very kind to two 

 young pet porkers, whom we named " Johnny " and 

 " Jacky." 



It was a commonplace request, after doing lessons : 

 " Please may we go and play with the pigs ! " 



Pigs really are intelligent if you handle them kindly, 

 and all went well with Johnny and Jacky till they grew 

 big, and then, whichever was mine took fright at some- 

 thing and knocked me over on hard cobble-stones. I was 

 partially stunned, and the pig galloped over my prostrate 

 body. That ended this form of amusement, and the end 

 of the pigs was not far distant. 



Ought I, perhaps, to add here that Kilvington, like 

 other similar villages, used to possess a village idiot, 

 a poor woman who went by the name of Silly Bessy ? 

 She wore a sort of pinafore and a nightcap, and her hands 

 dangled from the wrists. She was perfectly harmless, 

 but I was frightened of her. Then there was a younger 

 reputed idiot, one Ned Sleights, a boy of ten or eleven. 

 When Mr Kingsley came to the Rectory he tried amusing 

 his new parishioners with sports. Among other things he 

 got up a three-legged race for the boys, and Ned Sleights, 

 having had a leg tied to that of another boy and been 

 told how they were to race with others round a post 

 and back, made this singularly sensible observation : 



" And if we brek oor legs, how then ? " 



Mr Kingsley was so much struck by this that Ned was 

 from that time forth encouraged to attend church and take 

 part in the singing. He very soon took a peculiar pride 

 in this, and once when I saw him on a Sunday afternoon 

 and said : " Well, Ned, are you going to sing in church ? " 

 he replied, with a grin : " Aye ! She'll hev te echoa te- 

 night ! " 



And so it happened as a matter of fact. 



It should be added here that prominent among the later 

 singers was Joe Morrell, the sometime barrel organist of 

 the church. He could not read and so used to bellow 



