GLOOM 83 



The letter from which I quote the above was sent on 

 by my mother to my sister, enclosed in a letter from 

 herself, saying : 



Just a minute before the post comes to enclose you W.'s letter. 

 Mind and take care of it. Does he not do wonderfully ? I had 

 a drive this morning and took Eliza Rhodes. I feel much better, 

 and hope, with God's blessing, soon to be well again. 



I would not have quoted from those two letters were 

 it not that mine was, I feel almost sure, the very last I 

 ever wrote to my mother. Her own letter which I 

 had never seen until quite recently shows that she was 

 gratified by the news which mine contained, and for that 

 I am indeed thankful. I had no knowledge at that time 

 that she was ill. Boys are never told about such troubles, 

 but it is clear that my sister knew. 



Less than two months after my letter was written my 

 mother was dead I2th July 1866 and I had thus lost 

 both parents within a year. 



It is better not to dwell on mournful incidents of the 

 past. Again Mr Jex-Blake had broken the bad news to 

 me with kindly words, and as I waited at Rugby station 

 that time I saw a black railway engine with just a green 

 patch on it. I interpreted this to mean that my mother 

 was still alive, and she was so on my arrival at home, 

 just sufficiently to know me, but two nights later I was 

 sent hurriedly to the Rectory to summon Mr Kingsley, 

 whose house door had been left open so that I could go 

 straight in and up to his bedroom. He woke up and 

 came along within ten minutes. The end was very near, 

 though it did not actually come until late in the following 

 afternoon. 



Let us pass on, for the blow had fallen, and reminiscences 

 of it are futile. 



I went back to school to finish the term and its examina- 

 tions, this time without conspicuous success for that, 

 in the circumstances, could hardly be expected but 

 the result sufficed to get me out of the Vth form into the 



