FOLLIES OF SORTS 189 



to the Master and naturally presented a somewhat sheepish 

 appearance. 



"Mr Vicars, you really ought to have known better than to 

 act in such an unbecoming manner as I saw just now." 



Vicars mumbled some kind of apologetic excuse. 



"Of course, I don't regard it as any very serious offence, but 

 it must not occur again. Life would be unsupportable if everyone 

 took to throwing bread about in this manner. Take care you don't 

 give me reason to complain again. I will not detain you any 

 longer." 



And that ended it ; but let no one think that in these 

 combats with Vicars there was ever a spark of ill-feeling. 

 It was all mere sport, and he, after the first rush of rage, 

 enjoyed it as much as anyone else. It even happened in 

 later life, when we were or should have been sedate, that 

 Warner and I were staying with Vicars and his mother in 

 the country. It was just after luncheon, and Vicars had 

 gone out to attend to some message when I saw a barge 

 pole of the old sort near the windows. We wondered if 

 he would attack us if we took hold of it, and decided to 

 try as soon as he came in. The result was equal to our 

 most sanguine expectations, for he at once went for us 

 and we fled, as in the old days, into the hall and up the 

 staircase, meeting old Mrs Vicars coming down. He was 

 close behind us, with vengeful countenance, and the good 

 lady was fairly amazed. " Edward ! Edward ! ! " she 

 said, " what is the meaning of this ? " 



It remained only for me to say : " Oh ! it's all right, 

 Mrs Vicars, we often make fools of ourselves in this way " 

 and so the incident terminated. This, mind you, 

 was when I was married, and Warner was a Fellow of 

 Christ Church. 



The rest of the Oxford time may as well be dealt with 

 more briefly, for it was the old story that when once the 

 pressure of the final schools in Litera Humaniores came 

 on, and the Balliol authorities took to giving one books 

 to read in the vacation as a condition of further residence, 

 I played my old Dcus ex machind, Dr Ryott, on them by 

 getting him to certify that I had been suffering from 



