THE FIRE-ESCAPE 329 



For if, at home, the husband gay 

 Untrammelled spends a happy day, 

 And ladies fair and ladies bright 

 Are there with love and laughter light 

 The wife all suddenly arrives ; 

 How shall they flee and save their lives ? 

 (Spoken) There is only one way out of it, and that is by 



A fire-escape, a fire-escape, 



Of any sort or kind or shape. 



Oh ! how they push and scratch and scrape 



When bundling down the fire-escape. 

 The fire-escape, that thing of joy, 

 Have always handy to employ ; 

 For if the tax-collector dares 

 To set his foot upon your stairs, 

 Or when some lady of the past 

 Has found your whereabouts at last, 

 And with a voice not still nor small 

 Is talking loudly in the hall 

 (Spoken) I tell you, it's frightful ; but luckily 



The fire-escape, the fire-escape, 



Is ready for you all agape ; 



Don't stay too long your form to drape, 



But hook it down the fire-escape. 

 The fire-escape, the masher's friend, 

 Its ready aid will always lend ; 

 And if a statesman sad to tell 

 Should love not wisely but too well, 

 And, in the name of Smith or Brown, 

 Escort his neighbour's wife to town, 

 A sudden knock ! a thrill of fear 

 Here comes my husband, Charlie dear I 



(Spoken) Heavens ! What a situation ! Hardly time to 

 put on one's gloves. No chance to avoid detection ; no way 

 to save the lady's reputation. Oh yes, thank goodness, there is 

 one. Happy, thrice happy thought 



The fire-escape, the fire-escape 1 



It was indeed a merry jape 



When Charlie Parnell's naughty shape 



Went scooting down the fire-escape 1 



MacDermott used to draw roars of applause as he 

 developed the last verse until the name was given. The 

 song was published with Mr Parnell on the front cover 



