History of Methodism 93 



upon my disconsolate soul ! Surely it was the day of my espousals 

 — a day to be had in everlasting remembrance. At first my joy was 

 like a spring-tide, and, as it were, overflowed the banks. Go where 

 I would, I could not avoid the singing of psalms almost aloud. Aft- 

 erward it became more settled, and, blessed be God, saving a few 

 casual intervals, has abode and increased in my soul ever since. I 

 know the place ; it may, perhaps, be superstitious, but whenever I 

 go to Oxford I cannot help running to the spot where Jesus Christ 

 first revealed himself to me, and gave me the new birth. 



His friends at Gloucester — among whom he had gone 

 at the end of May, 1735, to regain his health, which 

 had been much impaired by unremitted study — were 

 urgent for his taking orders as soon as possible. He 

 coveted the work of the ministry, yet seemed to dread 

 it. "I never prayed against any corruption I had in 

 my life," said he, " so much as I did against going into 

 holy orders. I have prayed a thousand times, till the 

 sweat has dropped from my face like rain, that God, of 

 his infinite mercy, would not let me enter the Church 

 before he called me. I remember once in Gloucester 

 — I know the room, I look up at the window when I 

 am there and walk along the street — I know the bed- 

 side and the floor upon which I prostrated myself and 

 cried, ' Lord, I cannot go ; I shall be puffed up with 

 pride, and fall into the condemnation of the devil. I 

 am unfit to preach in thy great name. Send me not, 

 Lord, send me not yet.' " To his prayers he added his 

 endeavors, and wrote to his friends at Oxford, beseech- 

 ing them to pray to God to disappoint the designs of 

 his friends in the country who were for putting him 

 at once into the ministry ; but they sent back in an- 

 swer, " Pray we the Lord of the harvest to send thee 

 and many more laborers into his harvest." He wrote 

 a sermon, and sent it to a neighboring clergyman to 

 convince him how unfit he was to take upon him the 



