THE MUGGSES. 45 



Genuine Muggs was an Englishman. The an- 

 tipodes of Tammany Sachem, who would not believe 

 any thing, Muggs swallowed every thing. lie had 

 already absorbed so much in this way that he knew 

 all about the United States before visitini;- it. Given 

 half a chance, he would undoubtedly have told the 

 savage more about the hitter's habits than the ab- 

 origine himself knew. It was positiv^ely impossible 

 for him to learn any thing. His round British body 

 was so full of indisputable facts that another one 

 would have burst it. In the Presidential alphabet, 

 from Alpha Washington to Omega Grant, he knew 

 nil of our rulers' tricks and trades, and understofid 

 better the crooked ways of the White House than our 

 own talented Jenkins. 



British phlegm incased his soul, and British 

 leather his feet. From heel to crown he was com- 

 })letel\' a Briton. His mutton-chop whiskers came 

 just so far, and the h's dropped in and out of his ut- 

 teriugs in a perfectly natural way. In the Briton's 

 al[)habet. Sachem used to remark, the / is so big that 

 it is no wonder the // is often crowded out. 



]Muggs was a fair representative of the average 

 Englishman who has traveled somewhat. The eye- 

 teeth of these persons are generally cut with a slasli. 

 and they are forever after sore-mouthed. For a 

 maiden effort they never suck knowledge gently in, 

 but attempt a gulp which strangles. The conse- 

 quence of this hasty acquiring is a bloated condition. 

 The partly-traveled Briton seems, at first acquaint- 

 ance, full and swollen with knowledge ; but should 



