120 THE COACHING ERA 



sit. The Court officials, scandalized at this presumption 

 of a low-born one daring to find fault with the Imperial 

 coach, bundled him inside with scant ceremony, gave 

 him the reins through the windows, and bade him 

 drive without more ado. The immediate result did not 

 popularize coaching in the Celestial Empire, and the 

 Emperor never again ventured his valuable life on such 

 an unsteady conveyance as the coach proved itself to be. 



The young Oxonians and Cantabs accomplished their 

 revolution, and in time so completely had they re- 

 organized coaching etiquette that the outside of a 

 coach became the accredited place for gentlemen, and 

 the inside was left to the possession of crusty old 

 bachelors and fidgety old maids, who dozed, bumped 

 against each other with every jolt and became very short 

 in their tempers. We have it on the authority of Charles 

 Dickens that, "the tendency of mankind, when it falls 

 asleep in coaches, is to awake up cross, to find its legs in 

 the way and its corns an aggravation." 



If a passenger complained of cramp, and expressed a 

 desire to stretch his legs, he invariably brought on him- 

 self the acid retort: "I pray, sir, you will do nothing of 

 the sort, for they are far too long already." And a lady 

 timidly inquiring, "I hope, sir, you won't be offended if 

 my head should happen to fall on your shoulder during 

 the night?" received the reply, "I should not be offended, 

 madam, but I should take steps to remove it." "Why, 

 how could you help it, sir?" "How could I help it? 

 Why, I always keep a penknife stuck up in my hand, and 

 if people choose to fall upon the point it's not my fault." 



