Chatswortli has been carried into effect, aad whicli, we fear, our want of engineering 

 knowledge will prevent us pro^Derly describing. The stand being enclosed, 

 a well has been sunk for the champagne, and a silver pump erected over it, by which 

 means the wine is forced up in sufficient quantity to. satisfy those thirsty souls that 

 are gathered around. When we last saw it, the machine was in full operation, and 

 the attendants wore working as hard at the pnmps as the crew of a leaky merchant 

 vessel attempting to get into Plymouth." This was not written by one Avithout kuow- 

 ledge, and here, as in many graver matters, we should be inclined to follow his tip, and 

 take Todd Heatley for choice. But, with the stands, only half our business is done ; 

 and as there is luncheon and luncheon in them, so also is there both good and indifferent 

 on the hill. Are there not drags and neat broughams which you have received special 

 injunctions to visit immediately after the race, and which you invariably fail to fiad, or 

 if you should by chance stumble on either one or the other, is it not an hour and a half 

 after time, when the Meet is gone and the plovers' eggs dispatched — when the drumstick 

 of a fowl, and some bitter (warmed nicely in the sun) which even the men have left 

 nntoiiched, alone awaits yon. Talk of a blank day with hounds ; what is that to a di-aw, 

 amongst that forest of carriages, to an outsider who has patronised the rail, and trusted 

 to his own luck or instinct for finding his friends and luncheon when on the Downs ? 

 There is much to see and much to tempt one on the venture, independent of Cliquot and 

 lobster-salad ; for do not bright eyes abound there as well as on the Stand, and is it 

 not worth braving a whole army of cads, touts, and fortune-tellers to catch a glance 

 from some of them '? jSTor arc tliey easier to be found than the eatables, for many is the 

 blank daj^ we have had on that very hill, trying to find some fair one to whom we were under 

 a bond to lose as many dozens of Dent and Aldcroft's best six-aud-thrce-quarters as would 

 have set up a moderate outfitter's shop in the country, but we have turned away sad 

 in heart, though richer in pocket, for our ill-luck. Once more do we essay the task, 

 and then, if still unsuccessful, we shall eschew the hill, swell drags, neat brougliams, 

 and bright eyes, for ever on the Derby Day, and take the advice of an old friend, whicli 

 we can also recommend to oiir readers as being thoroughly sound: — " My dear fellow," 

 said he, " I presume you go to Epsom for enjoyment. Of course j^o'u do. Then get 

 one man who has wit enough to converse without making puns or attempting smart 

 things, and who, moreover, believes in you as a judge of a horse, and will hear what 

 you have to say without contradiction. Then, having previously done all yon desire 

 in the way of speculation, go with him into the paddock, and there look over the Derby 

 horses — see them saddled and mounted. That done — by which time you will, of course, 

 be tired — get some champagne or claret-cup; retu-e to the farther side, in the shade of 

 the trees, and there, stretched at length on the grass, discuss it and the merits of the 

 horses at the same time. Avoid, if possible, hearing who has won, lest it may influence 

 yoiu- digestion. If you have backed the winner, you will see it in the evening papers ; 

 if you are on the wrong horse, why should you know it sooner than is absolutely 

 necessary? Then, having indulged the dolccfar nientc until )'ou wearj'of doing nothing, 

 retui'n to town, and have the best dinner to bo obtained at your club. This for a fine 

 day. Should it be a cold or wet one, don't go. By this means you will be saved 

 much unnecessary labour and annoyance, and be for less likely to sutfer from dyspepsia 

 than by the usual modes of passing the Derby Day." So said our friend ; and should 

 our next draw on the hill jn-OA'c as unsuccessful as the preceding ones, we shall certainly 

 take his advice. All this tiine we have not said much about the Downs. Well, no ; 

 many as are the descriptions we have read of the scene, none ever yet did it justice ; so 

 we prefer leaving oiu' friends in the hands of the artist, whose life-like sketch will give 

 them a better idea than a liundrcd pages of description from our pen. 



