Popular Science Monthly 



893 



breadth of imagination and practicability. 



Consider Exhibit "A," which originated 

 somewhere in Maine. It borrows from the 

 windmill for its particular vein of humor. 

 Or, as cleverly expressed in the patent 

 paper: 



"The object of the present (the italics are 

 ours) invention is to provide a crow jack 

 which will simulate to a certain extent the 

 movements of a human being and will 

 present the external appearance thereof 

 so as to scare or frighten crows or other 

 birds." 



Does not that paragraph 

 fairly bubble with laughter? 



The "present" — by which is in 

 ferred that there are more to com 

 cornfield classic, when the wind 

 blows, flings its arms in the air, 

 Indian club fashion, and at the same 

 time spins about on one toe. giving a 

 quaint imitation of a cabaret dancer. 

 How the crows would enjoy that! 

 One can see them fairly toppling off 

 the fence rail and clutching their fat 

 little sides in spasms of mirth. 



Let us pass on to the next act 

 of this sparkling vaudeville. 

 Ladies and gentlemen — the 

 coyote alarm (at right). Iowa is 

 responsible for this. It looks 

 like a man, but hist! — it is an 

 invention! Where the man's 

 innards ought to be, lies a 

 mechanism. 



What might be an orderly, 

 gentlemanly scarecrow has been trans- 

 formed into a creature with lungs of strong 

 steel. In some respects it resembles an 

 alarm clock. Ever>' once in a while a cog 

 disengages itself, and the racket may be 

 plainly heard for miles around. If I were a 

 crow, however, I think I should sneak up 

 ^^ and investigate, out of the stubborn 

 ^' curiosity so characteristic of the 



crow. But p>erhaps not. 

 Now contemplate the 

 dude of the scarecrows, 

 with his neatly fitting 

 suit and hat and 

 heavy eyebrov/s. 



This is a Frankenstein 

 creation. It resembles 

 a man but in his chest 

 is a mechanism of 

 springs and cogs. At 

 regular intervals he gives 

 vent to a great bellow 



It usually costs an inventor no less than 

 Sioo to gird the loins of his brain child with 

 the decency and the protection of the law. 

 But the Ohio man who squandered his 

 money to give this gem to the clamoring 

 public may be wealthy. An>"vsay, the 

 Patent Office Gazette is one of the few mag- 

 azines in existence which permit a man to 

 buy his way into print. In a fair wind, 

 V the arms whirl and the body spins. 

 Beyond question, the crows will be 

 highly amused when the little dandy 

 begins to wave his arms and revoke 

 in the wind. If they 

 watch the performance 

 long enough they might 

 drop from sheer dizziness. 



Are birds and beasts of prey 

 observing? If so, they have 



learned long ere this that Man is 

 provided ordinarily with only one 

 face. Therefore, the intentions of 

 the whirling dervish, with tv\o 

 faces will go far afield. The thing 

 ma\' whirl with the wind as the 

 others do, but what crow with 

 an atom of common sense will 

 fly? L'nIess he happens to be 

 an intemperate bird, he will 

 realize that tvso faces are not 

 the proper number for a man! 

 Perhaps the cornfield gladia- 

 tor pictured on the preceding 

 page might achieve his purpose 

 by causing the crow to laugh 

 itself into apoplexy. If he 

 should clash his arms in today's cornfield, 

 your up-to-date bird would execute a 

 Charlie Chaplin glide. He might even 

 stop to whistle an old tune, p>opular ages 

 ago, entitled "Where did you get that hat?" 

 For the average twentieth century crow 

 is a wise old bird and tame enough to eat 

 from the hand of any scarecrow he chooses. 



At left is a two-faced mon- 

 ster with weather - vane 

 arms. He revolves with 

 the wind. At right is the 

 dude of the scarecrows. 

 His partner beside him 

 not only whirls and twirls 

 as the others do but bobs 

 his head fiercely as well 



