352 APPENDIX. 



that field be insufficient, his fertile mind could create money by causing 

 the post-office to take charge of umbrellas, or good soled boots, to protect 

 the heads and keep dry the heels of old gentlemen and ladies who want to 

 shield themselves from the slightest moisture. 



There is reason to expect that Sir George Bowyer, and the money- 

 getting, heir-spoliating Oratorian priests, would accept final Reform, as 

 they could command thereby more votes in the House. If the Oratory is 

 as earnest in fortune-getting as it has been of old, surely with the pleasures 

 of Heaven and benediction, and the pains of hell and damnation, ten heirs 

 and heiresses can be caught every year. Now, a single fifty-thousand- 

 pound heir or heiress could allow the Oratorians to buy many boroughs ; 

 and if they could only bag their Duke, one year's ducal income would 

 suffice to purchase more than one county franchise. 



Besides the Oratorians, the nigger Baptists would delight in an 

 Auction Reform, for when the black men desire to massacre the white men, 

 they could by obtaining a preponderance of votes make the extermination 

 of the whites legal. When the black men of Jamaica howled under their 

 punishment for murder and rapine, did not Earl Russell supersede their 

 punisher? Gordon has been hanged, so Earl Russell has lost an 

 opportunity of placing him with Bright in the Ministry. Both Gordon 

 and Bright had equal merit in stirring up the evil passions of mankind. 

 If Bright makes most noise, Gordon produced the greatest effect, and 

 both are equally entitled to sympathy and reward. 



Generally, all special religious enthusiasts would welcome the final 

 Reform Bill. Double extra High Church, double diminished Low Church, 

 and eveiy form of cant and hypocrisy, would crown Earl Russell for 

 giving them an opportunity of obtaining an ascendency, which they would 

 not fail to do, if only pastors could find flocks foolish enough to sacrifice 

 their fortunes to support fantastic notions. 



Not only special religionists, but certain parts of the monetary 

 interest, will hail an Auction Reform with delight. Does not the Stock 

 Exchange derive millions from new companies every year? Nobody can 

 see any difference between the Stock Exchange and the gambling hells of 

 the lesser princes of Germany, although every person, in fairness, admits 

 that the German hells are, at least, superintended by the police, whilst the 

 Stock Exchange is not. As there is a current belief in a parliamentary 

 interference with the peculiar mode in which the Stock Exchange gets 

 money from the public, a tithe of their gains would command many 

 parliamentary seats to protect their acquisitions. 



Again, the lawyers about the Reform Club who sigh for place may be 

 expected vehemently to support Earl Russell, as in future they may 

 calculate with accuracy whether it is worth their while to invest a definite 

 sum for an expected income. How many briefless barristers at the Reform 

 Club have bribed electors to secure a seat and obtain a judgeship, and yet 

 remain Mr. Briefless still ? How many poor fellows wander helplessly 

 over the Reform Club who might, by an Auction Reform, get by chance a 

 borough cheap, and show their competence for employment by a servile 

 ministerial support ? 



Everybody cannot be pleased, and we may expect Bright to dissent 

 from final Reform, as it would cause his occupation as a democratic 

 agitator to be gone. Could he, however, not be recompensed with a seat 



