THE BOGUS DUEL 23 



Mr Labouchere, still less am I inclined to give him a 

 chance however remote of inflicting it on me. 



Who you, sir, may be I have not the slightest idea ; 

 and I cannot imagine why you, in preference to Mr 

 Bradlaugh, should have been selected as the trans- 

 mitter of this cartel ; though considering the political 

 past of Northampton, I can understand even the most 

 egregious foolishness being aided and abetted in that 

 constituency. 



I am not conscious of having abused Mr Labouchere 

 scurrilously or otherwise ; indeed, I have always re- 

 garded him as a subject for mirth rather than indig- 

 nation. The abuse, so far as it goes, has been all on 

 his side, for since the institution of the Conservative 

 News Agency, which I have the honour to conduct, 

 he has not ceased to attempt to crush that undertaking 

 by the most green-eyed monstrous paragraphs. 



If I have read Mr Labouchere's past record aright, 

 I can only say that I am astounded that he should desire 

 to fight for his ancestors. The experience of others 

 in regard to him would seem to indicate a disinclina- 

 tion on his part to fight even for himself; nor, from 

 what I know, do Mr Labouchere's ancestors merit any 

 such terrible self-sacrifice. 



It would be out of place for me, looking at the 

 relative ages of Mr Labouchere and myself, to suggest 

 a method more in accord with modern civilisation by 

 which he could receive satisfaction. If, however, the 

 idea thus thrown out commends itself to him, I will 

 willingly appoint my most aged retainer to meet him with 

 horsewhips, the use of which weapons Mr Labouchere 

 is understood to have learned by experience. 



As for you, sir, if you will call at the office of St 



