Why They Were Rejected 



Hold that pose, Oscar, 

 while we count the 

 molar stalactites and 

 stalagmites in your 

 Mammoth Cave. By 

 Jove, old top, you have 

 six ivories missing. 

 Sorry, but that dis- 

 qualifies you. Yells 

 Oscar, "Isn't it 

 enough to kill the 

 Germans or do I 

 have to eat 'em too?" 

 Bad teeth mean rheu- 

 matism and poor health 



"You listen well, 

 the doctor, musingly, 

 "but I can tell from the 

 way your internal gears 

 mesh that you would 

 travel in 'low' when 

 leading a charge. 

 Breathe naturally now, 

 and I'll see whether 

 your heart has a little 

 movement of its own 

 or not." The recruit is 

 murmuring the prayer, 

 "Oh death, where is 

 thy sting-a-ling?" 



Photos © Press JUus. Serv, 



Stand up straight, lift 

 the right leg and say 

 "Uncle" three times. 

 Ah! ha! he has flat 

 feet, hammer and over- 

 riding toes, corns, 

 bunions and ingrowing 

 nails. He couldn't 

 march far. Otherwise 

 he is admirably fitted 

 for military service. 

 Admire the Junoesque 

 arm if you must 



The color test or does 

 black belong above or 

 below the Mason and 

 Dixon Line? It is a 

 hard test, this color 

 gamble. You are 

 given five minutes to 

 pick black from white 

 and if yOu fail the first 

 time you are only given 

 two other chances. A 

 color-blind person 

 can't shoot straight 



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