342 STAGE-COACH AND MAIL IN DAYS OF YORE 



greatcoats, cloaks, shawls and umbrellas, in 

 addition to ringing for the waiters to bring that 

 braudy-and-water ordered ten minutes before, but 

 jiot yet forthcoming. 



" Half-crowns and shillings are tendered in 

 payment to the waiter, who of course has no 

 change : what waiter ever had, when you were in 

 a hurry ? It is a mere additional annoyance 

 that the stage-struck youth finds this an oppor- 

 tunity of quoting from JPizarro, 'We want 

 no change, and, least of all, such change as 

 you would give us,' concluding with the lines 

 of one of Haynes Bayley's poj^ular ballads : — 



And were I in a foreign land, 

 You'd find no change in me. 



" No AY, at the ultimate moment, the waiter 

 a2:>pears with a tray containing ' one cold, without,' 

 'four hots, with,' 'two hots, sugar and no fruit,' 

 and ' three with the chill off ' — the ' with ' and 

 ' without ' referring to sugar, the ' no fruit ' 

 applying to lemon. Portunate now are the 

 owners of cold beverages, for none but a fire- 

 eater could swallow the scalding potations that 

 are now left as perquisites to the waiter. Amid 

 the babel of departure may be distinguished, 

 ' Please remember the waiter, sir ! ' ' Didn't 

 take for your dinner, sir.' ' Glass of brandy, 

 ma'am.' 'A basin of soup and a pint of ale gone 

 away without paying ! ' ' Chambermaid, ma'am.' 

 ' Ostler, sir ! I got you some nice dry straw.' 



" Away, away. ' Now, gentlemen, sit fast. 



