HOJV THE COACH PASSENGERS FARED 34S 



" Enter coacliman : ' I leaves you liere, if you 

 please, sir.' 



" ' Just as you please ; I have no objection,' 

 says a satirical passenger. 



" ' Please to remember the coachman — driven 

 you forty-live miles.' 



" ' Yes, hut you Avill recollect you Avere very 

 impertinent ai)out my wife's handbox; — there's a 

 shilling, between us, for you.' 



'"Oh! sir, I'm sure I didn't mean no unperlite- 

 i^ess — I hopes you von't think nothink about it ; 

 it were wery aggravising that the box was forgot, 

 Init I hopes you'll give me a trifle more — forty- 

 live miles.' 



" ' No, no more — so be off.' . . . 



" ' Please to remember the coachman, ma'am 

 — forty-five miles. Leave you here, sir, if 

 you please — go no further, sir — forty-five miles, 

 ma'am.' ... 



" ' Now, ladies and gentlemen, the coach is 

 quite ready : time's up,' says the guard, entering 

 the room. . . . 



" ' What's dinner, w^aiter ? ' 



" ' Two-and-three, and eighteenpence — one-and- 

 eightpence — is three-and-eleven, sir,' says the 

 cunning waiter, whose artful arithmetic is de- 

 cidedly not 'according to Cocker.' 'Yours is 

 three-and-sixpence, ma'am— two glasses brandy 

 and Avater. Yours is four shillings, sir— a bottle 

 of real Devonshire cider, sir.' . . . 



" ' Now, sir, coach is ready— time up ; can't 

 wait,' roars out the guard. ' Here, Joe, set the 



