i2 4 THE LIFE OF A SPORTSMAN 



after all, they only do their duty towards them, although 

 many of them are, like young coachmen, too fond of the 

 whip. As for myself, I had rather be a horse-keeper to 

 the Holyhead mail than a schoolmaster ; and does not 

 somebody say, 'Quern Jupiter odit pedagoyum faciti'' 

 But, Inkleton, when speaking of Oxford, and the fun 

 you had there in our time, you appear to have forgotten 

 Jem Howell, and the ' Birmingham Day,' one of the best 

 of his order, out of the University, and Costars favourite 

 servant." 



" Forget Jem Howell ! " exclaimed the Baronet ; " you 

 might as well suppose I should forget to eat my dinner 

 to-day at the ' Bush.' I consider Jem quite a pattern- 

 card of a stage-coachman, both in figure and dress ; and 

 he appears as if he were made on purpose to meet a 

 north-east wind, with the thermometer at zero, over those 

 Oxfordshire hills. Then, what a voice he has ! what an 

 eye ! in fact, what an expressive countenance through- 

 out, under that broad-brimmed hat ! " 



" That was not much amiss of Jem, the other day," said 

 Hargrave, " respecting the new Bishop of Oxford. ' I wish 

 they'd gin (given) it Oolly? said Jem (the gentleman's 

 name was Woolley) ; 'he'd have made a rare bishop, for 

 he's not only a scholard, but a gemman, and that's more 

 than can be said of all on 'em. They tells me scholard - 

 ship opens men's minds ; it may be so, but it shuts their 

 purses devilish close at least I find it so on this road. 

 I never remember getting more than one shilling from 

 a passenger in black, in a shovel hat, but once since I 

 have drove this coach.' But it is Jem's very dry manner 

 of expressing himself," resumed Hargrave, " that gives 

 a zest to these trifling stories ; in fact, they would not 

 be worth repeating without it. I saw an old woman go 

 up to him, the other morning, in Oxford, and say to him, 

 ' Be you a-going to Brummagem to-day, Master Howell 1 ' 

 ' Xo, ma'am,' replied Jem ; ' but I shall go half-way there, 

 and my fellow-servant will take you the other half if 

 you waVt to go there ; but mind ye, ma'am (looking up- 

 wards towards the sky), if it don't rain.' ' And will it rain, 

 Master Howell ? ' asked the silly old woman. ' There is 

 only one person in the world, ma'am, that can answer 

 that question,' replied Jem, ' and I ar'n't he.' " l 



1 This anecdote can only be appreciated by those who are aware 

 of the troublesome, stupid questions put by the travelling public to 



