216 



THE AMERICAN BEE-KEEPER. 



October, 



Goozenheimer nnd the "Bee Cure." 



I haf been out to der voods mit Vig- 

 glesburger, also Dr. Schuhorner, vare 

 ve bat der time uf our lives. Viggles- 

 burger hat der rheumatism und ve der 

 experience. 



Der event camed aboud as following. 

 A day or two ago recently Viggles- 

 burger passed by mein delicatessen 

 shop and set, "Henrich, nefer vos I so 

 diseouragemends mit dese rheuma- 

 tisms, nefer. I haf tried efery dings 

 under der vays uf der sun to cure me 

 disailment, but today I am more un- 

 vellness den nefer before or after- 

 wards. Vot now to did I cannod find 

 cud." 



"Vhy is you so dejected mit der mel- 

 ancholy uf your ailment ven der med- 

 ical science vos nefer so vonderness as 

 today?" I set. 



"Vot haf der medical science to did 

 mit rheumatism?" set Vigglesburger, 

 exciting his speakings. "Haf I nod 

 dem all tried, Henrich, from archeolo- 

 gy und entomology down to trigonom- 

 etry und zoology, also including oster- 

 apathy,'' 



"Veil, vel," I set, "vhat you did for 

 you railment mit in der few days or 

 a veek recendly?" 



"Vhat haf I did?" set Vigglesburger, 

 using a tone to his voice like vould 

 call der police, "listen your attention 

 alretty. Lasd veek I took me der cold 

 water cure. 'Drink concopiously uf 

 vater,' set der physicianer, '11 or 8 

 gallons a day.' Und I dit id, Goozie. 

 Den came annudder physicianer und 

 he set ids dropsy you haf, und pre- 

 scribed me un engine to pump me 

 quick out. After dot camed annudder 

 physicianer und he set: 'See her, 

 you're starving your pores, und also 

 your body. Id's rheumatism uf der 

 appitite you haf. Ead, ead,' he set, 

 'ead like a pig— you need id der 

 strength to fight der disease.' 



"Veil, I eated und eated, Heinrich, 

 till mein interior departments vent in- 

 to der receiver's hands, und efery - 

 dings I ate vent straight to meiu 

 stomach. 



"Den annudder physicianer came. 

 Set he: 'Ids a diet you vnnt,' and or- 

 dered some sparrow bird's milk and 

 canary bird seed. Der canary bird seed 

 vill make you so chipper, but vos I so 

 chipper ven I fell downstairs from der 

 veakness I hat?" 



"Vigglesburger made a silence as he 



paused his remarks to a stillness, vile 

 I vent to a mirror for reflections. 



"Vait, vait," I set, "haf you heard 

 uf der 'bee cure?' " as suddenly der 

 memory handed oud its remembrance, 

 "Now dots a cure vot is a cure. In ids 

 infancy id is, bud scientifikers claim id 

 der greadest dlscofery uf der time un^ 

 der age." 



"Vot to dit mit rheumatisms hal 

 bees?" set Vigglesburger, witoui 

 showing der least particle uf aston 

 ishes on der weather exposure uf his 

 countenance. 



"Uf tomorrow ve can get Dr. Schu 

 horner to accompany us," I set, "ve vil 

 visit der voods und also der bees." 



Dr. Schuhoi'ner consented, so de 

 nexd day ve vent to der forest. Threi 

 hours later der doctor discovered somi 

 bees in der trunlv uf a tree, und de 

 treatment uf Vigglesburger for hi 

 rheumatism commenced. 



"Strp yourself uf eferydings bu 

 your balbriggans," set der doctor, "um 

 take your stand dare in front uf de 

 tree." 



Vigglesburger took his stand as h( 

 roicals as der Dewey arch. 



"Id's mein opinion," set der doctoi 

 "dot 8 or 12 stings vill suwcient yo 

 yet. Bee stings vos poison, und as i 

 takes like to cure like, vhich I beliv. 

 der old theory, your ailment Vill fle 

 like birds on der viing." 



Eferydings vos readiness und I pol 

 ed ad der tree to bring out der bees. 



"Gently ad first," cried der docto 

 bivouaclving hisself behind him a tre 

 some distance avay. 



Biz! biz! zum! zum! as out came 

 some bees. 



"Wow!" yelled Vigglesburger, as da 

 bited like mad on his collar bone ye 



"Stand your ground," cried der dO' 

 tor. "Now, poke dem again," und 

 poked dem some more. 



Biz! biz! zum! zum! biz! biz! 



"Wow! Wow!" yellezd Vigglesbu 

 ger, more deafening den effer. as d( 

 bees bit him on his soloappoplexus 



"Doan'd flinch." set der doctoi 

 "poke again," und I poked. 



Biz! biz! zum! zum! biz! biz! zun 

 zum! Dis poke vos der lasd und d< 

 noise vhat followed vos like der roa 

 ing volcano. 



"Hornets!" yelled der doctor, tea 

 ing through der voods, like der nois 

 uf a train. "Flee for our lives!" 



"Help! Wow! Help!" screache 

 Vigglesburger, leaping In der air like 



