76 



for his fastidious taste. It is reported, but on doubtful authority, 

 that he has been seen to grow quite frisky at the sound of a Bell, 

 but -whether from nervous irritation or an involuntary expression 

 of his approbation of the Union ticket, is unknown. Douglas car- 

 ries about with him, at all times, too much of the S.A.D., to suit 

 his merry humor. Nevertheless, any man who has witnessed the 

 surprise and indignation of a family of swine when interrupted in 

 their foray on a turnip field or cabbage garden, or who has seen 

 a drove of these interesting animals luxuriously reposing in a pool 

 of stagnant water, will readily admit that they are hostile to " in- 

 tervention" on the part of Congress or any other power, and are 

 ardent admirers of the doctrine of squatter sovereignty. Although 

 the hog may have some claim to the title of an " odd-fellow," he 

 has no sympathy with the " free-masons ;" for knowing the uses 

 he will in all likelihood be put to after death, he instinctively 

 shivers with horror at the bare idea of being broiled on a gridiron. 

 xilthough at all times fond of rooting in " free-soil," he is not an 

 abolitionist, an ultraist, or a morbid philanthropist, who labors for 

 the good of his species. His anxiety is for himself. He wants 

 to get the yoke off his own neck, the ring from his own snout, but 

 cares not a scrcqj for his brethren in bondage. In a word, your 

 Committee have come to the conclusion that the hog belongs to 

 that numerous and therefore highly respectable band of politicians, 

 known as office-seekers, who, with a liberality which does them 

 honor, go in for the largest share of the spoils, each one intent ou 

 getting his own snout into the public trough, to the exclusion of 

 every one else. 



The life of the hog is a short and merry one. His yeai-s are 

 few, but while he lives he enjoys life, like a true philosopher. 

 Convinced that man was created for his comfort and protection, 

 he eats and drinks all he can get, leaving not a rasher behind; 

 He makes merry to-day, caring not what a basting to-morrow 

 may bring forth. 



But when his race is run, and the fatal knife is about to be 

 plunged into his bosom, when the sisters three, with their shears, 

 are about to clip the vital thread, at that awful moment, I regret 

 to say, the hog does not manifest the fortitude and resolution that 

 might be expected from an anini;d so strong-minded in other re- 

 spects. He struggles desjierately witli his destinj^, and in pierc- 

 ing tones denounces the cruelty of his persecutors, and protests 

 against the deep " damnation of his taking off." He finally gives 

 up the ghost Avith a squeal more diabolical than that which rang 

 in the ears of holy St. Dunstan, when he seized the nose of a cer- 

 tain nameless celebrity with a [lair of tongs. 



Such is the character, the life and the death of this amiable 

 and cherished (piadrupcd. Tlie "Macedonian madman" once 

 said, " If I were not Alexander, I should like to be Diogenes." 



