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To thee, oh, pinguid monster, whom to-day 

 We've dared to make the burden of our lay, 

 What shall we say? how can we justice render 

 To all the savory tit bits, rich and tender. 

 So widely known, s© justly world-renowned, 

 That in thy hide from tail to snout are found ? 

 With nose so short, and tail curled up so tight 

 That both seem almost drawn in out of sight ; 

 With form compact and bristles clean and shining, 

 With grunts, short, quick and sharp, no plantive whining, 

 Legs short, back square, sides hard, and round, and big— 

 We humbly bow before thy shrine— oh. Pig ! 

 Never was poet blessed with nobler theme, 

 No worthier subject e'er inspired thy dream. 

 No more soul-stirring task can ere be mine, 

 Than to recount thy virtues o'er, oh. Swine ! 

 Prom squealing three -round pighood, full of glee, 

 As full of happiness as pig can be. 

 Up through the graver cares of middle life. 

 To eat, and sleep, and fit thee for the knife- 

 To grunting lordly hogdom, when we see 

 Hogs, sage, philosopher, combined in thee— 

 Through all these phases, still thy bright example, 

 As thy dimensions daily grow more ample, 

 Grows brighter, and thy many virtues call 

 On man to try and emulate them all. 

 Who ever saw a pig in all creation 

 Act without thought and due deliberation ? 

 Who ever saw one in the least bit hurried. 

 Confused, excited, agitated, flurried ? 

 Deliberate forethought marks each step instead— 

 He's sure he's right, and then he goes ahead ; 

 This, linked with firmness, is his strongest trait, 

 And hence, some call him, wrongly— obstinate. 

 He simply has his honest predelictions. 

 And will not act against his best convictions ; 

 Place him between two roads— at once he knows 

 Which way he wants to go—and so he goes. 

 He calculates his chances, looks around. 

 This way— and that— and ascertains his ground; 

 And once his mind thus formed, with cautious care, 

 All Christendom can't turn him half a hair. 

 For man he entertains a feeling strong 



