26 PLAIN AND PLEASANT TALK 



shall become obselete. In Todd's, Johnson's, and Walker's, 

 and Worcester's dictionaries, fuel is spelled feioel, as the 

 most correct way. This is odd enough and bad enough — 

 but it is hardly so unsightly as dker?'' 



Nothing becomes obsolete until it has been in vogue. 

 But pass that : what a sight will the hooting confraternity 

 l^resent! I imagine Maine Farmer Holmes — a plump, 

 short, dapper gentleman, giving a long howl, that sounds 

 so ludicrous, that he dra\vs back from the open window to 

 laugh. Our more sober Breck performs the euphonious 

 duty with such conscientioiis heartiness, that up starts the 

 man of Buckwheat from his (mis-spelled) PloM^/Ztman's 

 chair, as also does the Cultivator Cole — a trio not practiced 

 to sing together. The uproar reaches Albany, and sur- 

 prises him of the Cultivator, who hoots supplementary, 

 with such voice as he happens, in his surprise, to have on 

 hand. Next, toward the west. Dr. Lee shall give a scien- 

 tific roar or hoot such as will make his laboratory jar again. 

 Down across the lake the hooting (not hunting) chorus 

 goes (what will the sailors think is to pay !) to Elliot of the 

 yard-long-named Magazine, who, hoarse with lake fogs and 

 winds, shall put in so bass a hoot, that Wight and Wright 

 of the Prairie Farmer will howl of mere fright, if for no- 

 thing else. 



Audacious men ! we utterly defy you ! We shall pass 

 by the whole crowing brood of Polands, Dorkings and 

 what-not ; and raise a breed of genuine owls, to be our 

 champions in this dire necessity. We say, peremptorily, 

 that we will not bet on any match between hooting birds 

 and hooting editors. But our serious oj^inion is, that, in 

 grave solemnity of looks, and in professional hooting, a 

 half dozen well-trained owls will beat the whole of you. 

 However, we are open to conviction. 



