OUR HELP 169 



She is ' mad,' and she intends you to know 

 it. Her piety, should she profess any, will 

 not prevent the use of 'language.' Then 

 you wish that you had an umbrella, or that 

 you had not spoken. The scene will probably 

 end in her informing you that you can look 

 for someone else. ' You are at liberty to 

 please yourself.' This with much con- 

 descension. But as in no case will you be 

 pleased, the remark presents itself in the 

 light of a superfluity. Still, for a time you 

 persist in hopefulness ; though the sigh of 

 relief you heave as your help and comfort's 

 Falstaffian form is trundled off the ranch has 

 to be repeated so often that at last even hope 

 expires, and your thoughts rove wildly to a 

 Chinaman, until you remember that a woman 

 you must have. Yet the undisputed fact 

 remains that the object of your help and 

 comfort in coming to you is so to contrive 

 that you shall be hers ; and if you fail to 

 come up to her requirements, and provided 

 she has skinned you sufficiently for her 

 purposes, she decamps. Sense of duty, 

 respect for her given word, gratitude for 

 kindness received, she scorns. 



