8 The Apocrypha 



The annual after-dinner processions through the 

 club-house may be recalled, — a bath-tub for a bass 

 drum. Though there may have been most extraor- 

 dinary variations in the musical time of the drum, 

 and great unsteadiness in the ranks, yet as they were 

 never inspected by any military critics, there can be 

 no doubt that at least they would have amused the 

 Napoleons, and would have been reported on as 

 unique, if not up to the highest military standards. 



A Myopia omelette was invented ; and the fra- 

 grance of its rich aroma, when it filled the nostrils 

 of the bust of " Homer " (labeled " An Early Myo- 

 pian") put life into the very clay. A momentary 

 expression of delight, mingled with an air of grati- 

 tude for small favors received, passed over the face. 

 With true poetic grace, no visible sign of aggrava- 

 tion was manifested, though it might have been 

 excused, considering the " Early Myopian's " long 

 fast. 



At Lexington, near Winchester, an Englishman 

 who had letters from a high English legal authority 

 was entertained at a dinner. It was known that he 

 was taking notes of his American experiences. Every 

 opportunity was given him to study American table 

 manners. He was joked in bad grammar and per- 

 haps with bad pranks, and was finally honored by a 

 Myopia land-slide. He was amused, if not some- 

 what startled, and seemed credulous when told that 



