The Apocrypha 



it was the greatest American compliment to a guest. 

 A land-slide is produced by lifting one end of the 

 table and forcing all the dishes to fall in a heap at 

 the other end. This was an unusually prolonged 

 one, as the table was long. The landlord's bill was 

 also long, as a successful land-slide necessitates the 

 smashing of much crockery. Strictly speaking, no 

 defense of such a folly can be made ; still a book on 

 The Toasts of all Nations might convince the skep- 

 tical that in more than one nation glasses are broken 

 after drinking. Besides, with all the everlasting talk 

 some pour into the ears of travelers through our 

 country about our magnificent distances, high moun- 

 tains, long and wide rivers, and " great institutions," 

 we were rather forced to emphasize the social side 

 in some way, in order that the greatness of our fol- 

 lies might make the affair distinctively American, 

 Shortly after this an English lord visited Boston ; 

 and wishing to send home to his mother " some- 

 thing distinctively American," as he expressed it, a 

 local wit suggested " a barrel of Cape Cod cranber- 

 ries." 



After two years of base ball, lawn tennis, and up- 

 setting the dignity of the plastic " Homer " with 

 omelettes, Myopians began to sigh for new sports. 

 As the printing-press and steam-engine appeared just 

 in the nick of time to benefit mankind, so Hunting 

 appeared, to interest Myopians ; and it probably saved 

 the name of Myopia from oblivion. 



