THE DAILY LIFE OF OUR FARM. 133 



(apple-cheeked matron) ; so, you see, having regard to 

 such seasonable gratification, I determined to inaugu- 

 rate civilities, and so I frowned at myself, just a short 

 minute, and then put more notes than I dared to think 

 of in my pocket, and buttoned my coat up, and started 

 ultimately, with a pleasant sense that I was about to 

 do my duty, having made inquiries before-hand as to 

 his stock, of the honey-tongued importer of this fancy 

 breed. Well, I saw what there was to see, and I 

 returned to a grateful spouse. Grateful ! and for what, 

 I should like to know ? Why, that she had for break- 

 fast this very day, such a delicious roll of fresh butter 

 as she hadn't tasted for ever so long, and of such a 

 golden tinge, too ! There's nothing like those Guern- 

 seys for the production of the precious pats ! And she 

 made herself so agreeable, too, I didn't know what to 

 do, that I was afraid she might ask to see the cow. 

 But I didn't give her time for that, and during the 

 intervals of talk I coughed somewhat — journeys leave 

 such a disagreeable (this time I may say convenient) 

 lining of comminuted foreign material (not so dusty a 

 phrase that, I think) in your throat, and then I sucked 

 again of the nice saturated toast, and we were mutually 

 gratified, and, at last, as I am the quickest feeder, I got 

 off with an excuse ; and here I am, gentle reader, at 

 your service for the moment. Whatever shall I do? 

 Ah ! may she never find it out. But I'll tell you in con- 

 fidence, only don't try to do the same, for perhaps your 

 wife won't be so easily satisfied, as a fellow-passenger 

 in the train, to whom I had revealed my intention, 

 remarked, apprehensively, having regard to his own 

 help-mate. 



Well, then, to make a clean breast of it, how do you 



