THE DAILY LIFE OF OUR FAEM. 155 



No more of the diffidence with which we took our 

 orders as to breakfast, &c., from the college scout, and 

 allowed his intervention with the awful University 

 tradesmen. No more of that : " no, no, not for Joe — 

 not for Joseph, oh 1 dear, no ! " Eh ! the smiling of 

 the counter-skipper now, and the bowing, and the 

 desire to serve, and the " hope that you'll recommend us, 

 sir," which, to the vain mind, are of value equal to a 

 redoubled discount. 



Smart's the word. Knock the wind out of them first 

 blow — apologizing, of course, for the contretemps ; but 

 the effect's produced, and the courteous apology effec- 

 tually salves. 



Water-wolves — water-wolves are we not all ? preying 

 upon each other, rather than "jolly dogs," as one fain 

 might wish, and as we were wont once to believe over 

 devil'd kidneys and a damper, "in the days that we 

 were young, a long time ago." 



D'ye see that, young friend ; for if ye don't, and have 

 to wait for the spectacles of personal experience, why, 

 then, more's the pity, and our Cassandra self has sung 

 in vain. 



But to return homewards. I was constrained just 

 now to steep my hands, feverish from rowing, in a 

 basin of water half-boiling. I had been musing of 

 Shorthorns, and the sweet, darling heifer-calves that 

 have been dropping upon our pastures of late, when, 

 drop 1 down came a huge spider from his swing, which 

 I had not noticed above me. Poor thing ! how he was 

 doubled up at once ! Didn't like hot water at all. 

 Must have been married. It was so like what one is 

 obliged so often to do oneself, under influence of the 

 conjugal (tin) kettle. 



