12 THE COMPLETE SPORTSMAN 



simple precaution, and that is to shoot oneself. 

 I need not dwell upon the palpable idiocy of 

 persons who, inspired by natural mental hebe- 

 tude or a warped sense of fun, point a fully- 

 charged weapon at one another's stomachs, and 

 then try to explain to the coroner that they 

 " didn't know it was loaded." The humour 

 that attaches to a simulated attempt at homi- 

 cide is, at the best of times, of the most tenuous 

 and meagre quality, and when such jests lead 

 to a sudden decrease in the population they are 

 very seldom calculated to raise a hearty laugh. 



I remember how, during one of the annual 

 pheasant shoots at Biffin Grange, the presence 

 of a certain Colonel Vipont at the covert-side 

 would spread a kind of panic among the beaters, 

 and fill the most daring of his fellow- sportsmen 

 with an ill-controlled desire to return home by 

 the shortest and swiftest route. Colonel Vi- 

 pont' s main object in life appeared to be to fire 

 off as many cartridges as possible, and he evi- 

 dently laboured under the impression that the 

 more shot there was in the air at any particular 

 time, the greater would be the chance that some 

 animal might accidentally walk or fly into it. 



It was from a sense of gratitude that Sir Noel 

 invited this man year after year to form one of 

 the party at the Grange, where the pleasure of 

 his society was but little appreciated. He and 

 my uncle had been shooting together once in 



