RETIRED GOLF 147 



any crumpets about me, my confusion may well 

 be imagined. 



On another occasion, at Branc aster, I was 

 followed for miles along the " pretty " by some 

 two hundred bleating sheep, who had mistaken 

 me for the bell-wether of the flock; and when a 

 couple of short-horn cattle joined the proces- 

 sion, the congestion upon the putting-greens 

 became so great that, at my opponent's urgent 

 request, I consented to doff the offending hat, 

 and bury the sleigh-bells in a bunker. 



A much simpler way of keeping the head 

 immovable consists in tying a stout string to a 

 tooth in the lower jaw, passing the end through 

 one's legs, and getting a caddy to hold it 

 tightly behind one's back while one is address- 

 ing the ball. In this case any attempt to jerk 

 the head up results in the loss of a favourite 

 molar, and it is safe to assume that a man of 

 even moderate intelligence will gladly renounce 

 the most seductive of bad habits before exces- 

 sive indulgence therein has left him completely 

 toothless. To prove the efficacy of this system 

 I have but to mention that in the summer of 

 1907 I succeeded in reducing my handicap from 

 32 to 28 at the negligible cost of two wisdom 

 teeth. Need I say more ? 



I cannot honestly recommend the practice in 

 vogue among some of the older habitues of our 



