VILLAGE CRICKET 



181 



side asks you to try a few " overs " at the 

 church end, to express surprise at his choice of 

 a bowler, to say that you haven't had a ball in 

 your hand since you left school (which is, of 

 course, a lie) and that you're afraid your arm 

 will be very stiff. 

 You should then 

 remove your hat 

 and hang it on 

 the umpire, 

 take off your 

 " sweater " and 

 drape it round 

 that worthy's 

 shoulders, give 

 him your watch 

 and chain, your 

 silver cigarette 

 case, your pipe 

 and (after count- 

 ing it carefully) 

 any loose change 

 you may have 

 in your pockets. If, however, you feel impelled 

 to remove your boots — as may sometimes be 

 necessary if the wicket is wet and slippery — you 

 should on no account hang these on the umpire, 

 but rather place them neatly together behind 

 the stumps, where they will be in nobody's way. 



