SPRING AND WINTER PASTIMES 201 



those timely descriptions of different varieties 

 of " Amusements for Dark Evenings " which 

 our more enterprising daily newspapers are so 

 fond of printing for the benefit of their 

 readers. 



As I sit hour after hour in my cheerless attic, 

 composing those literary masterpieces which 

 nobody has either the time or the courage to 

 peruse, it is always a source of comfort to me to 

 know that elsewhere more fortunate persons are 

 being compelled to engage in those entertaining 

 pastimes of which the halfpenny Press provides 

 us with such thrilling accounts. 



In many a drawing-room in South Kensington 

 happy guests are being blindfolded and made to 

 plunge reluctant hands into bags of flour or soot ; 

 the boudoir of many a mansion in Bayswater 

 resounds with the delighted cries of middle- aged 

 people who, with their hands tied behind them, 

 are fishing with their teeth for apples floating in 

 bowls of unfiltered water. And so the darkest 

 evenings pass merrily by, and I console myself 

 Avith the knowledge that the fatuity of nations 

 is never wholly eclipsed. 



Of all winter sports, however, it is quite safe 

 to say that none can compare for racy charm 

 with that which is popularly known as Christmas 

 shopping. 



Christmas shopping, like the composition of 



