" N " OR " M " 253 



" I love you with a passion that mocks the power 

 of words; but I can never, never become a 

 Biffin. Never !" And to this decision she 

 adhered unflinchingly, in spite of prayers, 

 threats, lawyer's letters, and the well-meant 

 intervention of her aunt. Lady Emily Wother- 

 spoon, whose husband had deserted her within 

 two days of their marriage and made her very 

 happy. 



Lady Benzoline's father, the proud Earl of 

 Blitheringvernon and Waddyminster, whose 

 name (as my readers are doubtless aware) is 

 pronounced Bungling and Wopster, with that 

 sagacity which distinguishes the Governing 

 Classes of these Islands, suggested that the 

 difficulty might be overcome if his potential 

 son-in-law would consent to alter the spelling 

 of his name from " Biffin " to " Beophegan," 

 or even " Bolphoun." This I eagerly agreed 

 to do, but, alas ! my attempt to evade the 

 hereditary millstone that Fate had hung about 

 my neck met with little or no success. 



At a huge banquet held at the Metropole by 

 a number of public-spirited English gentlemen 

 and members of Parliament, to protest against 

 the principles upon which the internal adminis- 

 tration of other countries was conducted, I, 

 Reginald Bolphoun, was called upon to propose 

 the health of H.H. the Tycoon of Bunga-Bunga, 



