260 THE COMPLETE SPORTSMAN 



of the original cost of the articles in question. 

 Arrange on clean baize-covered tables round a 

 large room or hall in some fashionable district. 

 Season to taste with bunting and floral decora- 

 tions, taking care that if Union Jacks are used 

 they shall invariably be hung upside down. 

 Garnish each table with 1 Lady of Title and 

 5 Willing Workers. Remove all chairs, and 

 allow the Ladies of Title and Willing Workers 

 to stand for four hours on end in a thorough 

 draught. 



Lay down one strip of red carpet. Place one 

 Royal Personage on the strip of red carpet, and 

 surround with Patronesses of the Charitable 

 Institution in Need of Funds. Place a few apt 

 phrases in the mouth of the Royal Personage, 

 and throw open the large room or hall. 



Add 1 Clairvoyante, 1 String Orchestra, and 

 1 Famous Music-Hall Comedian, and at the 

 last moment throw in half a dozen telegrams 

 from Professional Singers excusing their non- 

 appearance on the grounds of temporary indis- 

 position. The addition of a little Tango-tea 

 will considerably enrich the mixture and render 

 it more appetizing. If this is unavailable, a 

 dash of spice may be given by inserting a 

 Mock-auction, Lottery, or Lucky-tub. 



Tightly squeeze several hundred Philanthro- 

 pists into the room or hall; thoroughly pluck 



