264 THE COMPLETE SPORTSMAN 



Waiter carrying about 12 dozen plates. Pursue 

 him with the Stout and Elderly Wife, the Pretty 

 Parlourmaid, and the Comic Waiter, and let 

 him collide in rapid succession with 1 Nurse 

 and Perambulator, 1 Policeman, 1 Vendor of 

 Italian Pottery, 1 Old Woman selling Air- 

 balloons, 1 Postman, 1 Butcher's Boy, and 1 

 Elderly Gentleman riding a Tricycle. Collect 

 all the individuals with whom the Henpecked 

 Husband has collided, and rattle them through 

 the crowded streets of a foreign town. 



Overturn 6 Fruit-barrows, 2 Coffee-stalls, and 

 a Painter on a Ladder. Completely gut 3 Shops, 

 wreck an Open-air Cafe, and finally tumble the 

 whole party into a Canal. Care should be taken 

 that as much damage as possible is done to 

 articles of crockery and hardware, and that all 

 the characters should fall repeatedly upon the 

 ground and be eventually soaked to the skin. 



Mix all this with a Rechauffe composed of 

 Railway Accidents, Birds Feeding their Young, 

 Lion Hunts, Motor Races, and Royal Weddings. 

 Throw the result as rapidly as possible on to a 

 clean white screen, and serve in a long low- 

 building in a populous thoroughfare. 



Add a number of narrow plush seats and a 

 third-hand piano; carefully exclude all light and 

 fresh air, thoroughly stock with germs of 

 influenza and nasal catarrh, and flavour with 



