RECIPES 269 



dozen Nervous-looking Gentlemen who do not 

 seem to know what to do with their feet. Arrange 

 these carefully on a row of cane-bottomed chairs 

 at one end of the hall. Surround with perfectly 

 self-possessed wives gazing scornfully through 

 lorgnettes at the Earnest Persons. Provide one 

 of the Nervous-looking Gentlemen (called the 

 Chairman) with a plain deal table, furnished 

 with a bottle of tepid water and a glass tumbler. 

 Fill the Chairman mth a sense of his own 

 importance and a pint of tepid water from 

 the glass tumbler. Thump the floor well with 

 the umbrellas of the Earnest Persons. Let the 

 Chairman remark that he has no intention of 

 making a long speech; and let him then speak 

 for twenty minutes without a break. Let him 

 protest that there is no need to expatiate upon 

 the virtues and talents of the Distinguished 

 Politician on his rights; let him then expatiate 

 upon those particular virtues and talents for 

 another twenty minutes. 



Strain the patience of the Earnest Persons to 

 breaking-point, and then allow the Distinguished 

 Politician to rise. Thump the floor with more 

 umbrellas, and clap the hands of the Earnest 

 Persons together for a few minutes. Thoroughly 

 clear the throat of the Distinguished Politician 

 and sprinkle lightly with tepid water. Let him 

 assert that never in the course of a lengthy 



