Racing Stories 



worse than my three hours ; and, accordingly, 

 I expressed my sympathy with that unfortunate 

 horseman. There may have been reasons which 

 did not appear on the card. Some of his mounts 

 were not, perhaps, very strenuous, I suggested 

 by way of a joke, adding, to maintain the illu- 

 sion : " But what I know about ' stumers ' you 

 might put into your pipe and smoke it without 

 being conscious of the nicotine." I gave a huge 

 puff to illustrate the beauty of that simile : it 

 made a hit. 



" Old Tim Byles," said my flippant host, " was 

 noted for his skill in handling horses of the class 

 (not too strenuous) at which you have darkly 

 hinted. He rarely rode any others. He was at 

 the post for a mile race some years ago (such 

 things are not heard of now), and he was not 

 anxious to get off. He dawdled about, and 

 would not join his horses, so the starter lost 

 patience, and asked him whether he was on a 

 genuine or an ornamental candidate. ' Ton my 

 word, sir,' growled Tim, ' / have forgotten .' He 

 was left, though he remembered — alas ! too late 

 — that his orders were strictly — er — canonical." 



A brief interlude having been allowed for the 

 story to sink in and to be duly assimilated — dare 

 I say liquidated ? — my genial host dashed off the 



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