872 THE HUNTING GROUNDS, ETC. 



ordered out on active service in the Crimea, and he 

 was obliged to go. Although not actually engaged, 

 he saw quite enough at the battle of the Alma to 

 turn his stomach against the profession he had 

 chosen, and satisfy himself that the smell of powder 

 did not agree with his constitution ; so, after a 

 solemn consultation with his second in command. 

 Colonel Haleem Bey, as great a poltroon as himself, 

 both parties decamped one fine morning, without 

 beat of drum, and found their way to Stamboul ; 

 for which act the Seraskier Eiza Pacha brought 

 them up before the Mejlis (Council of War) on a 

 charge 'of having cowardly abandoned their post 

 in the field before the enemy ; ' and in the presence 

 of all the troops they were degraded from their re- 

 spective ranks, and are now vegetating in prison. 



" This finale was, however, against my interests, 

 as one evening before the Pacha left the Crimea, 

 when we were talking about the chances of an 

 engagement at an early period, he said, 'You are 

 an Englishman, and like fighting, and cannot be 

 afraid of a woman ; so what do you say to taking 

 my eighty thousand piastres' worth off" my hands ? 

 She is as good as when I bought her, and I will 

 give you a house and garden with her, and adopt 

 you as a son.' Of course I closed with his offer at 

 once, but our little arrangement was put an end to 

 by his sentence ; so you see, my friends, that the old 

 adage is true which says, ' Wherever there is misfor- 

 tune, a woman is sure to be at the bottom of it.' " 



