MEMORIES OF THE COUNTRY PEOPLE 87 



sipped a glass of champagne very dubiously. He 

 tried again, then he sighed. 



'* These mineral waters are very tayjous," he 

 said. " I wondther whin they'll get on to the 

 whisky." 



I heard a very funny story this year of a steward 

 who is given to using long words. 



He has a telephone to his master's house and 

 rang up one night. His voice trembling with wrath- 

 He wished to know if he could not instantly 

 dismiss or deal summarily with one Nat Donellan. 

 . . . Why ? . . . 



*' Because he was just afther comin' into the 

 kitchen, an' oberight me wife didn't he call me a 

 vilyin an' a murtherer an' a thief and many other 

 appropriate names that I could not lay me tongue 

 to." 



They never mean to be witty. 



Up near the station I waited to listen to two 

 old men discussing a neighbour. 



** An' what sort of man is he there ? " 



" He is the sort of a man that would pick the 

 money out of God's pockets." 



The guard on the line to Miltown, reproached 

 by me as to delay, grinned pleasantly at me as he 

 looked at his watch. 



" Late — we are so — But sure what is the mather 

 of a hanful of minnits," he said going off cheerily. 



I travelled in with a bride and bridegroom 

 one day two years ago. 



