234 CHAMOIS HUNTING. 



are always fearful they may be put off with something 

 that is not the reality, and so there be a falling away 

 from their brilliant imaginings. Somehow or other I 

 carry this childish anxiety about with me still ; and when 

 a wished-for-thing is just before me, and another step 

 will enable me to reach it, the doubt and the suspicion 

 will arise, and I can hardly bring myself to believe that 

 it is really so. And even this difficulty over, all my rea- 

 soning cannot make my silly self give up the fear that 

 something may yet happen to snatch away the enjoy- 

 ment. I must have the toy in my hands, before I can 

 believe it is my " very own." And so I looked to satisfy 

 myself that what I saw was all real ; and then I looked 

 again, to be sure that my wishes had not betrayed me 

 into self-deception. But there was no mistake here ; 

 and it was settled these were indeed thoroughly respect- 

 able mountains, and that I with my own eyes was be- 

 holding them. 



Just with such fluttering anxiety did I approach Venice 

 for the first time. Already at Mestre, I dreaded lest, by 

 some unforeseen cause or other, I should be transported 

 across the Lagune otherwise than in a gondola. Could 

 I by any piece of witchery have been carried thither 

 through the air, I would still have preferred the gondola ; 

 for that was associated with all my boyish notions of 

 Venice, and without it therefore the charm of that mo- 

 ment, so long waited for, would have been incomplete. 

 And only when fairly seated in it, and we had shoved 

 away from land, did I feel sure that nothing could cheat 

 me of my hopes. And as we emerged from the Grand 

 Canal, — ay, there was St. Mark's, and the Masts, and 

 the Palace of the Doge, all as I had seen them a thou- 

 sand times in pictures, in drawings, and in my fancy. 

 All was there — I missed nothing — I recognized every 



