MY TRAMP. 373 



He was so stupefied that he was unable to give any account of 

 himself. He was at last brought around b}^ the kindly offices 

 of several small boys, who gathered about him and threw 

 water in his face and pelted him with mud. In searching his 

 pockets for matches they came across several handfuls of 

 pennies, which, for fear he might spend them for more 

 rum, they generously agreed to take care of. They ran 

 off after throwing away the papers they found on him. 

 These latter were picked up by a grocery drummer, who was 

 temporarily in the town, and were the means of his recogni- 

 tion. From memoranda found in his pockets it would appear 

 that he was on his return home from buying goods ; but 

 according to his own confused statements he left home on 

 account of family troubles, and sought to drown them in the 

 floiving bowl. He told a sorrowful tale. It is a sad case, and 

 should be a warning to wives to be more considerate, and 

 always meet their husbands with a smile, etc. The drummer, 

 having an eye to business, loaned the poor man money to 

 return home on, for which he was profuse in his thanks. We 

 would not wish to be invidious, and will mention no names, 

 merely observing that, in his sober moments, if you called 

 him John Smith he would answer to it, and that his store is 



not far from town, Bucks County. We will conclude by 



saying that, by a substitution of names, the old song would be 

 appropriate for the occasion : 



" Schmidt Johannes is his name, 

 America his nation ; 



town his dwelling-place, 



And brandy his damnation I " 



I threw down the paper in disgust. " If ever I extend hos- 

 pitality to another Bedouin of civilized life," said I, " may I 



Excuse me, ma'am, did you say you wanted the mild Rio or 

 the strong ? " 





