CHAPTER XIII 



TIPS FROM STRANGE SOURCES 



My experience of sportsmen has convinced me that most 

 of them, especially racing men, are superstitious. I know 

 a man who, on entering the great Exhibition of 1862 for 

 the first time, had his eyes instantly attracted by the name 

 Caractacus in gilt letters over the statue of that chieftain. 

 " By Jove, that's a tip," said he, and promptly went out and 

 backed Caractacus for the Derby. A former landlady of 

 the Old Bell in Fleet Street used to tell with great unction 

 the story of a wonderful tip which she received in a remark- 

 able fashion. She was a very keen backer of horses, and 

 moreover a good church-woman, and always dragged her 

 reluctant spouse with her on Sunday morning to St 

 Margaret's, close by. One Sunday, on their return from 

 church, she said to her husband, "John, did you pay any 

 attention to the sermon this morning? " " Can't say I did, 

 my dear, any way particular," replied her worse half, on 

 whom the sermon always had a soporific effect. " Don't 

 even remember the text, I suppose ? " said she tartly. John 

 was obliged to confess that his memory had failed to retain 

 even that. " Ah ! " said his wife in disgust, " you lazy, 

 sleepy stupid, you never have your ears open ; if it hadn't 

 been for me you'd have missed the straightest tip for the 

 Chester Cup that ever was given." "What's that?" ex- 

 claimed her astonished spouse, now thoroughly awake. 

 " Why, what did the parson say — and repeated it twice — 

 but ' Vanity of Vanities, all is Vanity.' Now Vanity's at 10 

 to I for the Chester Cup, and my money goes on him." 

 Well, Vanity won, and the moral is, always keep awake 

 during the sermon, or, if you can't do that, at any rate don't 

 forget the text. 



