198 SPORTING STORIES 



was an honest beast," said the laird ; " and he is that, for he 

 has often threatened to come down with me, and I kenned 

 he would keep his word soon." 



An Irishman, you may go bail, would have had quite as 

 witty an excuse. Not long ago an Irishman told me this 

 yarn : — 



A Cockney sportsman who was amongst us had bought 

 " a norse " two days before the local meet. There was as 

 bad a " spec " on the animal's eye as there was in the 

 purchaser's bargain ; and he had a trifling thickness of 

 breath which the Irish dealer said was only a " cowld," and 

 a bit of a blemish on one knee which was only a mark on 

 his coat. In short, the horse was a rip, and at the first stifif 

 fence he shot his rider over his head and broke the other 

 knee. The Cockney threatened the seller with a lawsuit, 

 at the same time appealing to his conscience how he could 

 sell such a horse as sound, or praise him as he did. "Upon 

 my word," says Pat, " and that's as good as my bond, he's 

 as sound as a bell, for he'll go when you touch him ; and as 

 for his character, all I said was, that he would run against 

 any horse or mare that you could bring into the field ; and 

 as for jumping, let him alone for that." 



It is now only fair to give a specimen of English trickery 

 to supplement these illustrations of Scotch and Irish artful- 

 ness. Lord Chief Justice Alvanley told this story, of which 

 he was himself the hero — or victim : — 



" Some years ago, an action was brought against a 

 gentleman respecting a horse he had bought to go the 

 circuit upon (in those days, barristers went on circuit on 

 horseback). The horse was taken home; the barrister 

 mounted, but he would not stir a step. ' How came 

 you to sell me a horse that would not go ? ' demanded the 

 barrister. ' I sold a horse warranted sound,' replied the 

 dealer, ' and sound he is ; but as for going, I never thought 

 he would go.' " 



A gentleman (we will call him Mr Smith) well known 

 in sporting circles, being in Dublin, was persuaded to go to 

 a dealer's stables to look at a horse that was highly recom- 

 mended to him. Mr Smith at once saw that it was not the 

 kind he wanted. The dealer made no attempt to persuade 



