Memoirs 195 



and not such an one as was wedded to self-conceit, or 

 one that had been tempered to the humours of 

 another; for which he wooed me for his wife; and 

 though I did dread marriage, and shunned men's 

 companies as much as I could, yet I could not, nor 

 had not the power to refuse him, by reason my affec- 

 tions were fixed on him, and he was the onely person 

 I ever was in love with: neither was I ashamed to 

 own it, but gloried therein. For it was not amorous 

 love, I never was infected therewith, it is a disease, 

 or a passion, or both, I only know by relation, not 

 by experience; neither could title, wealth, power, or 

 person entice me to love. But my love was honest 

 and honourable, being placed upon merit, which 

 affection joyed at the fame of his worth, pleased ^vith 

 delight in his wit, proud of the respects he used to me, 

 and triumphing in the affections he prof est for me, 

 which affections he hath confirmed to me by a deed 

 of time, sealed by constancy, and assigned by an 

 unalterable decree of his promise; which makes me 

 happy in despight of Fortune's frowns. For though 

 misfortunes may and do oft dissolve base, wilde, loose, 

 and ungrounded affections, yet she hath no power of 

 those that are united either by merit, justice, grati- 

 tude, duty, fidelity, or the like ; and though my Lord 

 hath lost his estate, and banished out of his country 

 for his loyalty to his king and country, yet neither 

 despised poverty, nor pinching necessity could make 

 him break the bands of friendship, or weaken his 

 loyal duty to his king or country. 



But not onely the family I am linkt to is ruined, 

 but the family from which I sprung, by these unhappy 

 wars, which ruine my mother lived to see, and then 

 died, having lived a widow many years, for she never 

 forgot my father so as to marry again. Indeed, he 



