72 THE LIFE OF PHILIP HENRY GOSSE. 



of the six years had now expired. The anticipation of the 

 death of one so beloved as Elizabeth, and the tedium of 

 waiting for the opportunity to visit her, produced a peculiar 

 effect on the young man's mind. As has already been 

 shown, he was by temperament grave and somewhat 

 Puritanical. His giddiest flights of spirit had not raised 

 him to the customary altitude of innocent youthful be- 

 haviour, and nothing was lacking but such an incident as 

 the illness of Elizabeth to develop in him the sternest 

 forms of religious self-devotion. He shall himself describe 

 the course of events in his spiritual nature, and I am the 

 more ready to print his exact words, because their tenour 

 is very unusual, and far enough removed from the conven- 

 tional language of modern religious life : — 



" My prominent thought in this crisis was legal. I 

 "wanted the Almighty to be my Friend ; to go to Him 

 "in my need. I knew He required me to be holy. He 

 " had said, * My son, give Me thy heart' I closed with 

 " Him, not hypocritically, but sincerely ; intending 

 " henceforth to live a new, a holy Hfe ; to please and 

 " serve God. I knew nothing of my own weakness, or 

 " of the power of sin. I cannot say that I was born 

 " again as yet ; but a work was commenced which was 

 " preparatory to, and which culminated in, regeneration. 

 " I came at once to God, with much confidence, as a 

 " hearer of prayer, and He graciously honoured my faith, 

 " imperfect as it was. 



"As illustrating the tenderness of conscience then 

 " induced, I recollect the following incident : — The use of 

 " profane language, so common around me, I had always 

 " avoided, until the last twelvemonth or so, when I had 

 "been gradually sliding into it. One day, some week 

 "or two after my exercise with God, I was alone in the 

 "office, when some agreeable occupation or other was 



