SYMPOSIUM 13 



' Truly your apprehension in this is in no wise at fault, 

 nor would I mislead you as to pressing the ladies into the 

 service of my pipe. I recognised that it was nature's 

 behest to woman to impart to duller mortals light and 

 leading, and by watchful eye and ready wit to keep the 

 flame aglow. You did not profit by observation or 

 experience, else you would have learned this lesson.' 



' Your pardon, Dr. Parr, but I cannot conceive that you 

 properly maintained the dignity of your calling by such 

 discourtesy to the ladies. Of this am I conceived that had 

 you so behaved in the presence of my wife she would have 

 called you to better manners, unless, indeed, you had been 

 entreated by the ladies to smoke as you did and blow 

 fumes into their faces.' 



' Gently, gently, my sapient critic, mistake not the 

 significance of the argument, which is this : Woman by 

 divine command is man's companion and helpmate through 

 their earthly career. Shut her out from all participation in 

 man's social enjoyments, particularly one which like the 

 Indian weed brings to the ruffled mind solace and an 

 abiding peace, and there will spring up in her heart a 

 feeling of resentment, as of a rival, which may find vent in 

 lost tobacco or broken pipes. Therefore is it not well to 

 teach the ladies to take pleasure in your smoking habit 

 rather than leave them to find pleasure in putting 

 your pipe out ? And to thee, O troubled one, whose 

 throne is the mighty Olympus, would I say that in St 

 Nicotine's soothing charm dwells an antidote to Juno's 

 censorious tongue, and in her clouds a shield against 

 Aphrodite's gracious influence.' 



A smile plays across the countenance of Jupiter, but 

 scorn flashes from Juno's lustrous eyes. And Aphrodite 

 flutters her wings in dissent, for already she feels her sway 



